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How Do You Know When You Need A Counsellor?

The myth that we can all manage on our own. We all know there are times when we need counselling. Maybe we just need a friend to lend a listening ear, or we need to contact a family member to renew a connection, or we need to divert our attention from our current low state of mind by going to see a movie, or bush walking or dancing or ...

It can feel like a wimpish alternative to consult a trained counsellor or approach a therapist for counselling. After all, aren't we mature adults who can take responsibility for our own actions and deal with the consequences?

Yes and no.

You may have come across the John Donne quotation, 'No man is an island'. Politically incorrect it may be now, but it expresses an important truth. We are all interconnected. At a soul level, we are all part of The One. This is the ultimate reality. We are all a part of the whole. So whatever affects us as individuals inevitably impacts on others.

When something in your life is impacting you to the point of absorbing a large share of your energy, then you may need to question how that is affecting the rest of your life, the people around you, and how you view and act towards your future.

Here are some straight forward ways to assess whether you need to consult a trained counsellor or therapist.

  1. What place does the issue have in your thoughts? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how much is the challenge you face occupying your thoughts on a recurrent basis? If you find yourself constantly preoccupied with a specific issue and you answer higher than 5, you may benefit from the input of a trained counsellor.


  2. How is the issue affecting your relationships? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how much is the challenge you face affecting your relationships with your family and friends? Do you sense that the people around you are running out of patience with your issues? If they are not trained counsellors, they may be feeling the strain and be unsure how to react to what they perceive as your insoluble problems. Don't squander your friendships. If your assessment of the impact of your issue on existing friendships and family is greater than 5, then consider that you might consult a professional who is trained to deal with highly emotions issues in a compassionate and understanding way.


  3. How important is the issue to you in the greater scheme of things? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how important is it to you to address this issue and resolve this challenge? Is it just a niggle or is it something truly central to your life? If it's under 5, then you are probably wasting your own and our time by seeking professional help. But if you assess it as over 5 and you genuinely feel the pain of enduring this situation, then it may well be time to seek professional help. A trained and qualified counsellor can provide the stability you need when facing multiple changes and challenges in your life. He or she can challenge, you, encourage you, and validate you in ways that your family and friends are not able to do.
Many of us have unresolved issues with family that block our personal growth and spiritual progress. Talking about these issues in confidence with a trained professional counsellor can have a very empowering effect on our own lives and on the lives of those around us.

The first meeting with a counsellor is very much a matter of seeing whether there is a 'fit' between their counselling style and your personal preferences. You should not expect to resolve issues that have taken years to build up in the space of one short session. But you should be able to judge whether you feel more optimistic about resolving the issue after one sessions, whether you can trust the person you are talking to, and whether you are prepared to commit a longer period of time to addressing issues that will definitely continue to impact your life and hold back your progress if you are not pro-active in addressing them.

Click on Services to see if any of these feel right for you or Meet The Team to choose a counsellor or therapist.


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